TMNT Sorry
by mysteryred
Summary: The fifth installment to Solace, Sanctuary, Stay, Skyscraper also known as my Stars Ascending Series. This part written to the Leorai Week prompt: children. I make no from my fan works, and I do not own TMNT.


Sorry – Series: 5th installment Stars Ascending

(Solace, Sanctuary, Stay, Skyscraper, Sorry)

Prompt: Children for Leorai Week Day 2

Written to: Want You Back, 5 Seconds of Summer

 **Sorry**

It is easier to build strong children,

than to repair broken men. – Frederick Douglass

There she was, a haunting silhouette draped in a black hooded cape, her eyes glossy and bright like windows with moisture trapped between the panes. If he didn't know better he might let himself believe she was going through some emotional turmoil of her own. But that would require her to care. And he knew that not to be the case. She'd left him, shut him out as of late.

 _She_ ended them. Not him.

For a minute that stretched on beyond his current scope, there was mere silence between them. The only sound to be heard, the rush of wind over his skin, an all-consuming pounding that he felt as rough and jagged as the sad excuse for a heart beating in his chest. Just looking at her, what little of her face that he could see, hurt.

Staying in shadow, she made no move to speak. Content to watch him suffer. And why? What had he done to deserve any of this? He'd been there for her, came for her, shed blood and tears for her, and it was never enough.

He was never enough.

A quick appraisal of himself, found him slumped in a corner leaning against a protective barrier for support. A pathetic hunched over posture, head turned toward her but lowered as if he'd done something wrong.

When all he'd done was suffer and hurt.

Worst of all, he'd wanted this moment, dreamt and hoped, even prayed to his father's spirit for her to come home. Here she was, and as a familiar stone lodged in his throat all he wanted was to never see her face again. He wasn't sure what was worse, longing for her or having her there watching him, seeing how he'd crumbled when he should've stood strong and tall and moved forward. The way she apparently had.

The way maybe he once could and would, had he never known the most intimate parts of her.

But he had.

And it ruined him.

His blood boiled, while his heart picked up a wild, erratic beat. A traitorous thing that damned muscle. Collecting himself, but not moving from his spot, he assumed a prouder, more upright posture, reminiscent of the old him. Then he found his voice, though he wasn't sure what he planned to say. "What are you doing here?"

Something flickered in her eyes, betrayed her in ways they never had before and he wondered, for a fleeting moment, if she wasn't going through her own hell. She stepped forward a bit, the cape covering the length of her but her face in better light. Fuller than he remembered, matured even, but it'd only been a year. Had reclaiming her birthright taken such a toll that it aged her?

He knew stepping up to fill his father's role had challenged him in ways that even their worst battles hadn't. He almost laughed at the irony. Always fighting to survive, they'd never really gotten to be children. None of them. Not really. Her included.

But his own lifelong struggle for existence, wasn't enough for the universe. Life went and threw a bonus round at him. Now he was not only leader of the team, but head of their clan. And if any number of events had gone differently in the past, his current role would've been hers too. Everything always began with, went way out in a convoluted twisting loop and returned to Karai.

He scoffed, shook his head. "Are you going to answer me?" Her weight shifted as if to take a step toward him but she stopped as his jaw shifted and his face formed a deep scowl, a warning falling from his lips before he could stop himself. "Don't. _You_ hurt me."

Her heel dropped, planting her where she was, mere feet away. Frowning, she gave a slight nod. "I know. I'm sorry. I-" The rasp in her voice as it hitched, the rare vulnerability of it, left him scrambling to put up barriers. Every instinct he held was still ready to protect her, even as it was her that had done this to them.

Yet he couldn't stop himself from wondering, why had it never occurred to him that she might be going through shit of her own?

And if she was, why hadn't she come to him? Told him? Let him be there for her?

"Don't make me feel guilty." He steeled himself inside, couldn't- no he _wouldn't_ keep going through this. She couldn't dance in and out of his life like a nasty kunoichi trick. He deserved better. "I'm not the one who stopped accepting or returning calls. I'm not the one, Karai, who left. And don't say you had to. You didn't. You could've sent Shini to clean things up in Japan." He sniffed, looked away from golden eyes framed with wet lashes. His teeth ground together. Was she actually crying? The nerve! Dirty move. And though he turned from her, the shape of her was all he could see in the glass. "I'm not a toy for you to play with. I thought-" he swallowed hard, his voice dropping as it threatened to fail him. "I thought we were together, even while you were there. I thought… you were coming back to me. Then you just- cut me off."

Her chest rose and fell, her eyes closing momentarily before opening again to meet his gaze in the reflection. "Some things-" she paused, as if choosing her words with care. "Came up." She held out a gloved hand. "I never stopped loving you, Leonardo. I never lied to you. I just- had to figure some things out."

"You could've let me be there for you. Whatever it was you know I would be." They peered into one another, the air becoming static between them although his shell was to her. His neck and shoulders drew in her energy, drank her in waves. Welcoming her despite the fresh grief suffocating him. Because she could do that.

Draw the very breath out of him.

Damn her for it.

"I know that. I do." Her voice was so, _strange_. So… sad. He glanced at her as her pain seeped into him, pulling at the tattered strings of his heart as she went on. "It's just- this was- different. I had to see it through and it was best if you weren't involved or knew about it until it was over. You've been through enough for me. You didn't need to worry about this too."

"As long as the Foot is on the up and up, it doesn't affect me or my brothers." He frowned as she looked skyward. The wind carried up her cape, whipping it around her legs. He was a bit surprised she wasn't in uniform, had traded in her kunoichi garb for a long black dress and boots. How had she managed to get up here in that? April, most likely. A sneaky duo those two were turning out to be.

"I've missed this," she admitted, still gazing at the gold-black New York sky.

"What?" He snapped. "What have you missed, Karai? Breaking my heart or leaving me behind to-"

"To pick up the pieces?" Her chin dropped, her eyes capturing his once more. "Do you think I was having fun without you, Leo? Hmmm? Do you think I wanted to hurt you? Well that's just selfish and stupid. Why would I do that? Huh? Why, would I deliberately hurt the one person I can't live without? I couldn't-" Her voice broke and she swallowed hard, blinking fast as she forced herself to finish. "I couldn't wait to get home to you. But I couldn't be here until I was done there. It went so great and fast that in three months I thought I'd be home by spring." She swiped at her face, growling as she ground out, "Great, I thought this would've passed by now."

"Yeah, me too." He pinched between his eyes, sighed and looked to the streets once more. Tiny little ants marching up and down the sidewalks at all hours, the current of life that flowed through the city moved him too. No matter how he hurt, he kept going, until he wasn't sure he felt anything other than the never-ending pain at his very core, his constant companion. The loss. The grief that began with his father and transferred to her, the better part of him or the half that balanced him, made him whole.

Now here she was, ripping open jagged scars, only to leave him bloody again.

Still, he loved her.

Best to end this now, before she could do it to him again. "You should go back to whoever it is that kept you away."

Her reply floored him.

"I will."

Deflated, he scrambled to his feet, his shell bumping the glass as he stumbled where he should be fluid and graceful. "How could you?" His eyes were wet before he knew what was happening. "How could you say that?" Then his feet were carrying him toward her, eyes shredding her lineless, near emotionless face; if it weren't for the tear stains that gave away her own misery. "Why are you so damned determined to destroy me, Karai? Why?" His hands flew up to grip her arms, his fingers closing gingerly despite his hurt. "Why?"

Her shoulders shook, her brow tipping forward to rest on his as they exchanged breaths. "I've missed you, Leonardo."

Struggling with the ache in his throat, the way his skin burned beneath her covered fingers, the way her body called to him through the fabric and all he wanted was to lose himself in her all over again. Let her have him, because if she wanted him, he would, always, he'd give in. And he hated himself for it. "Do you love him?"

Her head tipped, her lips hovering over his. "Love who?"

"Whoever you're leaving me for?" He cried openly. The jasmine clinging to her skin was a fresh hell he didn't know if he could survive. Had some human taken her from him? One who could give her everything he never could? Was she coming to say goodbye?

Then, causing his stomach to drop out through his toes, she had the gall to laugh. "It's a girl, Leo."

His stomach churned. What?

April and Karai? "But-"

"Shut up, Leonardo." She smiled at him, reached for his cheek, her eyes soft, open. "I had a baby, you Dweeb. When I leave here, I will be returning to my daughter."


End file.
